I am posting this from my own house. I own it, it is mine. Well, it's mine for something or other a month. We finally finished painting on Thursday of last week. Moving the stuff here was the easy part. A nice lady from work lent us a trailer to load enormous amounts of crap onto, which cut our trips back and forth by 3/4 easily. It's good to have friends.

I have set up the video game center first, obviously. I haven't even gotten the wires off the floor. This is a clear demonstration of my priorities.

According to the book, Pirates 2, Clerks 2, Broken Bridges (don't know about this one), and Snakes On A Plane all get released the same day in my Wal-Mart. I think it's the first Tuesday in December. It's somewhere around there anyway. We always release on a Tuesday. Right there is at least $60 I have to spend on DVD's, not to mention Cars, which comes out a couple of weeks before. Cars was cool, kids movie or not. Definitely check it out, the animation is excellent. How am I going to get $80 all at once? Are you telling me I have to budget and save something aside? Preposterous!

Some sixteen year old kid decided to steal a knife on Monday. He used a razor to cut the top off of the package, then proceeds to cut the living fuck out of his hand getting it out of the package. He then goes up front and claims he cut it on a shelf, and the store ends up paying for his hospital trip to get his hand stitched up. We didn'tk now he cut it on a piece of thievery until the other day when we found a bloody knife package. I think we should take the stitches back out of his hand. The son of a bitch. Where are his parents? Why wasn't he in school? His parents should beat the living fuck out of him. I know my ass would have gotten spanked at sixteen if I cut school to steal a knife and ended up in the hospital. No, I would have not fought back against my Dad even as a teenager, because he is stronger than me. Also, I wasn't that kind of kid. My parents cared about me. They didn't leave me to be raised by the TV or by my teachers. I can feel some kind of preaching coming on, so I'm cutting this short.

In their infinite corporate wisdom, Wal-Mart decided to have me and about eight other department managers unload the truck this morning at 8:45am. Some of us were very upset, I was sort of irritated. I wasn't doing anything anyway, because I'm done. Running my department is like driving for hours along a straight flat highway. It's just not that hard to keep it going straight, minor adjustments are all you need. So, when I say I'm done I am, except for the four or five carts of backstock that need to be worked. I could work these, but they represent at most about two hours of constant effort for one person. I usually wait until my sales associate comes in and we work it together. We got it done, all she had left to do was one cart and then all that's left is the new freight. Overnighters do that, so there's really no pressure. Given that as my situation, unloading the truck in one hour wasn't a detriment to my workload. I actually rather enjoyed it.

The problem is when the unloaders show up at 2, there won't be shit for them to do. They are after all unloaders, their sole purpose is to work the truck. They get paid less than we do. So the company just wasted man hours unloading a truck six hours early for no reason at all. There was no second truck coming in later, I checked. They worked most of the freight up, and the unloaders can easily finish what's left, so the overnight shift will have absolutely nothing to do. I just don't understand the reason for having us unload it that early. Why can't they tell us why? Is it such a Goddamned secret? Also, the other department managers had things that needed to be done. They just called all the large male people they could think of to unload. Just because I'm not doing much in the morning doesn't mean they don't have a different routine. Many of them only have one person besides them for their department all week. They have to work much harder than I do to get things done. On top of that I know for sure that a couple of them have worthless helpers that don't do shit all day. Please, leave the unloading to the unloaders, and let the department managers do the department managing.

I could say I didn't update yesterday as a way to have a moment of silence for 9/11, but I'm not nearly superficial enough nor important enough to pull that one off. If I ever do get so famous that people expect my blog every day, then I will definitely have a no post day with no explanation on 9/11. If you're going to do something for someone, you should be willing to keep your motivations hidden, as to make sure you aren't really doing it to make yourself feel better.

So, we're moving in one week from midnight and I haven't packed anything. I haven't even packed up age old cd's and empty cd cases. I still have the Halo books on the shelf. Certainly my life could go on without the Halo books. Why do I own Halo books? I was desperate to know more of that world. I thought, with proper writing those books could be awesome. The first book, called The Fall Of Reach, focused on the origins of Master Chief and his Spartan training. I am a sucker for basic training stories, which explains my enjoyment of Bloodsport, GI Jane, Full Metal Jacket, and other things I've seen or read that include basic training as a basic character development tool. The story was pretty good too, you really get a sense of how bleak it is for humanity in the books. The game just doesn't translate that all too well. You get the feeling that it doesn't matter what happens because you will personally kick the shit out of every alien bastard and single handedly save the human race.

Basic Training is best experienced as a montage. I don't recommend 8 weeks of bullshit to the average jackass. I know you Marines get 12 weeks, and your genitals have clearly reaped the rewards, but I didn't join the Marines. I joined the Army. I liked the Army until the end of my second year, then I started not really caring. Obviously that was the first clue that I should find somewhere else to be. You don't want some jackass who doesn't care sent over to places like Iraq. I wouldn't want him in my foxhole. I actually got to the point where I didn't want me in my foxhole. Enough about that. I haven't been in the army since 1999.

Today marked the first day you could buy the original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. Not the doctored "look how much George Lucas hates himself and others" version, but the original version. The one that actually changed science fiction movies. I emailed a picture to myself, but Cingular isn't in the mood today I guess.

Today I didn't touch the Xbox. You might want to see if the planets stopped rotating or something. Not that we even have nine planets anymore. First we stop pronouncing Uranus correctly, then we told Pluto to go fuck itself. Now what is Mickey Mouse's dog named after? I don't know, some fucking rock somewhere. This means they lied to me about something else in school. They have a lot to answer for, whoever they are.

Since I talk so much about video games here, I am posting what I would like to see happen with Call of Duty 3. I am in favor of the current Halo health system, where if you get hurt, you just wait under cover for your "shields" to regenerate, although I am interested in what it could be like to have a medic come and heal your ass. I just worry about that in multiplayer. Obviously the job of medic is going to be like being the goalie in gym class, no one wants to do it and they put the retard in the goal. If they can make it fun to be a medic then it could work. Maybe in the single player game you could have the option to play through as a medic on certain levels. Imagine being a medic on Omaha beach. I think that would keep you busy.

I want them to give me the option as the host to turn off weapons if I feel the need. Turning off scopes in a big level makes it more interesting in some ways. Nothing against scopes but it would be nice to customize the experience. Also, I would probably turn off shotguns in all situations except for playing headquarters. Shotguns are goddamned annoying. It would be nice if you could edit these options in the middle of the match also. I'm sure there are assholes out there that would abuse this power, but that's what negative feedback is for.

Speaking of middle of the match, it would be awesome if you could kick an annoying bastard in the middle of the match. Also, when you kick someone it should give you a reason option, so if you are kicking them for no negative reason, let's say you want your friend in the room and this stranger is in the way, it's a no hard feelings kick. However if you kick them for trash talking or camping, they are banned from reentering the room for let's say, 20 minutes or something. Perhaps you could set the time for their absence, in 5 minute increments. There could be a forever option too, but this option would have to require you to leave feedback about them.

It would also be nice if they could fix the lag problem with throwing smoke. I see no reason for my machine to shit itself because I tossed smoke. I've noticed on many occasions that there's a shitload of smoke on your screen, but no smoke at all on the screen of the person who just shot you. Another graphical glitch is when you have the flag and your back is to the wall, people on the other side of the wall can see the flag poking through. I've died on more than one occasion because of this, and I see no reason why this can't be fixed.

Also, in multiplayer it would be cool if you could use a flak 88. I imagine the cries of bullshit, many of which will come from me, but it would still rock. I could see it being used in regular deathmatch as well as search and destroy. This should also be an option to turn off if you're the host. Turning off all fixed guns or selecting which fixed guns you want would be awesome. That could inspire a new multiplayer mode where the flak 88 Germans have to take out something while the Americans have to stop them. That idea needs revision obviously.

Guess what happened this morning. Steve Irwin died. A stingray with poisonous barbs stabbed him through the heart. That is some shit. Apparently he was making some kind of film about dangerous sea creatures and swam too close to a fucking stingray. He should have stuck with the crocodiles. I wonder if there was some kind of warning or something that said "Stay away from the stingray Steve!" I actually feel sort of bad here for a moment or two. I don't know why. How many creatures had their buttholes explored by his thumb? Although to me it doesn't mean he deserved to die. Fuck the animals, especially the edible ones and the ones that inflitrate my house uninvited. Fuck them on TV with your Thumb. You're reading the rantings of a man who has seen another man with his arm up a cow's ass to the shoulder. He was searching for something. He wasn't wearing gloves. Maybe he was on a lifelong search for his keys. Did I spell his name right? Shit I don't know.

Here's a news article.

Despite all that I still feel bad for his family. I guess I was raised right then.

It's been a long time here. I have a few things to report, such as buying a house, but first I must say I have just spent the last 10 hours playing Call of Duty 2 on xbox live. This is my cry for help.

So we bought a house on a corner, and our closing day is September 15th. This unfortunately means we're moving on the 20th. Moving is for suckers. The bright side is it should be the last move for a while, since we own the place and all. Famous last words, you say? Fuck you. I can stay in the same situation for fucking eons, especially if it sucks. Not that this is going to suck, and that may be my downfall.

I've seen a bunch of movies in the last two months. Miami Heat, Pirates of the Carribean 2, Lady in the Water, The Matador, Clerks 2, Talladega Nights, and Snakes On a Motherfucking Plane. I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane. I hear Samuel L. Jackson agreed to do the movie on the strength of the title alone. Don't watch it expecting a good story, watch it expecting snakes on a motherfucking plane. If that's not enough, a chihuahua gets fed to an anaconda. It wasn't the same Anaconda that Ice Cube drove a pickaxe through as he called it a bitch. This Anaconda eats fucking chihuahuas. Yes I had to look that word up since I couldn't spell it.

Don't expect too much from Lady in the Water. It's just not nearly as good as Unbreakable. Miami Heat was absolutely awesome. In no way should you miss that movie. Pirates 2 was good, but not as good as the original. Bill Nighy is pretty good as Davy Jones. Clerks 2 is the funniest movie I've seen in years. It ranks up with The Ref for favorite comedy. Talladega Nights was funny enough, but I saw it the same day I saw Clerks 2 so it didn't make a good impression. The Matador is good. You get to see Pierce Brosnan try to kick a rat dog off his heel as he bangs this prostitute from behind. It's pretty fucked up.

That was your movie minute with me, the movie minute motherfucker. I SAID FUCK YEAH! Check out the hook while my dj revolves it.