Since I'm looking for work outside of Wal-Mart, I wonder what it takes to be the guy that traces chalk around the bodies at crime scenes. Is there a specific job title for this or do you just lose a bet or draw a short straw? How do you trace a guy that had his head blown off? Do you approximate the head shape, hoping you don't get it wrong? Is there a bonus for getting it right? How do you deal with blood pools? Do they have some kind of blood penetrating chalk? Do you have to bring your own chalk? Maybe it's helpful to have experience making chalk drawings on sidewalks at art shows. I wonder if when you trace a dead guy who is missing an arm, do you draw an arrow from the arm socket to where the arm is and then trace the arm? Does it matter what color chalk you use? Can I bring a set of several colors and draw up a legend so you'll know what color was what body? Is that something I could put in my will, that I would prefer navy blue chalk to be used to trace my body in case of wrongful death requiring police investigation? I guess I could google this, but I'm not sure how to search for it. "Guy who traces bodies" might be a good start, but I don't want to trigger any patriot act software.

A guy told me one time that he convinced a girl at this bar that his military occupational specialty was in flight missile repairman.

Lastly, if the Bears win the superbowl, are they who we thought they were? Can we go ahead and crown their ass?

Watching the history channel, I realize that beef jerky looks totally nasty before it's dried. It is mixed with the sauce in some kind of apocalyptic dryer. It looked like brown mucus coated livers, except thinner, like that membrane shit they find in Alien movies. It wasn't all brown, there was some red in there too, as if they took the cows still alive and shredded them through an exhaust fan.

Let's see, news since my last post...

Dad now drives tankers locally and is home every night. He picks up water from oil fields and takes it to disposal units for $13.62 per hour. Apparently, and this makes sense to me anyway, they push the oil out of wherever it is by injecting the pocket with water. It ends up being salt water by the time it gets back to the surface, and according to the history channel, they distill the water to get salt. I don't know if it's table salt, but apparently it's something they can sell. Oil companies do more than you think they do.

My sister works for the state hospital, with the crazies. She seems to like it, although some days are harder than others. It's like a nursing home for delusional people. She's not allowed to mention names or specific conditions due to doctor patient confidentiality or something similar.

Mom has moved to overnight cashiering, and therefore doesn't have to stock grocery or deal as much with a man named after soup. She's there now. In fact, my whole family is at work except for me. I'm sitting here blogging like some kind of lazy person.

Speaking of me, I'm about to get a CDL permit. I intend to use this permit to get hired as a driver with someone who is willing to train me to drive for them and will let me use their vehicle for the road test. I'm finally acting on my situation. It's been six months in the making, but it's finally happening. I've also been playing Gears of War. I can't seem to beat the last boss, because I didn't bring any bigger guns. I thought I could get away with using a shotgun and the Lancer. Not so, mustafa. I guess I'll start over from the beginning of the chapter. It is the most fun I've had playing games in a long time. I totally suck at multiplayer though. I am much better at Call of Duty 2, which I can't play because the disk is cracked.

In case you think I'm updating without bitching about Wal-Mart, I am.