So today I was told by my boss that I had been doing the billing paperwork wrong.  It was explained to me what he wanted and I said ok that's the way I'll do it.  It occurred to me afterwards that maybe that was what is called an ass-chewing.

I don't think so.  I spent 3 years in the Army.  I am well aware of the parameters of ass chewing.  An ass chewing consists of a large man yelling at the top of his lungs with his face right in front of your face.  Spit flies, F-words are abundant.  You have no escape.  You must listen.  This was not an ass chewing.  This was a simple correction.  I am easy to correct at work because I know who's in charge.  I know that I'm not in charge.  The way it is is the way it is and I'm powerless to change it.  I understand that if I don't like it I can work somewhere else and no hard feelings.

Some people don't understand authority.  The worst kind of person to have a misunderstanding of authority is someone in charge.  They think it's like a pack of dogs where you have to constantly posture and look tough otherwise the other dogs won't respect you.  I find this behavior weak minded and overflowing with insecurity.  If you're the boss you had ought to know that fact pretty well.  Let your every thought be infused with "I'm in charge of this situation."  There is no need to yell when you're in charge.  All you have to do is say, "This is what needs to get done today and this is who's going to do it.  If you have questions just ask."  It's so much easier to work for you if this is how you manage.  Be well organized and execute your plan.  Use your people to get this plan done and work alongside them to accomplish it.  Thank them for their efforts.  Always be polite.

If your employees don't do what you say or give you a bunch of attitude there is no need to get angry.  You don't get angry because you are in charge.  They have no power over you.  They can go work somewhere else.  I don't know why you'd want someone working for you who constantly breaks the rules or treats you with contempt.  This person needs to be fired before he/she hurts themselves or someone else.  People can't give the person in charge attitude unless they allow it.

Please, if you're a manager be honest with your employees.  Always mean what you say and never make promises you can't guarantee.  This advice works outside the work place as well.  Give it a try.

Today I searched google for "What percentage of Americans don't drive?" It was inspired by this article which I got from following Major Nelson on twitter (more on that article later). The third link from the top said "Only 42% of Americans believe Barak Obama is an American Citizen." I know I typed the word American in the search and so google had to bring me every link that mentions American in it but maybe it could try actually answering the damned question. I never did get an answer either.

It makes me feel Microsoft is justified in those Bing commercials. I haven't noticed their search necessarily answering my questions more accurately or should I say understand my questions more accurately, but they make a point. At no point did I mention Obama. At no point did I mention citizen. At no point should either one of these things appear in the page when I search for "What percentage of Americans don't drive?"

If I were in school (shudder) and on the test I saw a question that said, "Jimmy is on a train traveling at 60mph and arrives at his destination in 3 days 41 minutes 30 seconds. How far did he travel assuming the train did not stop or slow down?" I would get the answer wrong if I said "Save money on travel to Cork!" or "Register to win the train that crashed in The Fugitive." I might amuse the teacher but would fail the course.

I would be more interested (as with all surveys) in what demographic of Americans were polled to come up with that 42%. I'm not weighing in on whether our leader is legally allowed to be our leader but I don't believe any poll I read no matter where I read it. Unless you can say you polled 100% of all Americans during that survey in which case I don't remember you calling me.

This is the later part. The article I linked says that 21% of American Adults don't use the internet. It then goes on to say "that's like not using the telephone." As Darth Vader would say "Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed." Not using the internet is not remotely like not using the phone. The internet is hardly necessary to people who don't care about it. I will never starve or be late for work or run out of gas because I didn't use the internet. I'll never get divorced or miss a house payment because I didn't use the internet. It's not remotely necessary for humans to function. Get over yourself. It's a convenience not a necessity.

I searched for Americans who don't drive because I would find that much more perplexing if you had never driven and had never wanted to drive. I would tell such a person to get out of the city for a few weeks without buying any tickets from anyone at all. Just go. No one knows where you went or how fast you got there unless you told them. You could go right this second with your car, dependent on no one.

I'm not even sure who I was defending here but I hope they feel better.

I did something terrible today. I placed my phone in my pocket. I know right? Who does that these days? If I had known that this horrifying war crime would have resulted in the death of my touch screen phone I probably still would have done it because where the hell else am I supposed to put it? I don't carry a purse because I'm a man.

Oh, "put it in a holster" you say. Sure that works for maybe a week. Then the strap that holds it to my belt breaks and the phone suffers at least a three foot fall. Devastating!

What do you "never lifted an object that weighs more than 10 pounds before" office people do to keep your phone working for the entire two year contract? Oh that's right, you don't actually do work with your body. You type. You think. You bitch about your boss but you don't lift anything except yourself.

So distressing to be forced to buy a Samsung bulletproof Rugby phone in order to keep a phone for more than 6 months. No one makes an internet ready large screened actually durable phone. The only durable phones are ugly and have tiny screens. I guess us working folks are destined to have to use them though.

I have a Rugby phone issued to me by my boss. One time it fell out of it's holster while I was getting out of a truck. I didn't realize it until 30 minutes later after I had moved said truck to do my job. This truck was half loaded with salt water. That's 1500+ gallons of 9-10lb per gallon salt water. I found my phone over by where I had loaded the water. It was in the tire tracks left by the truck. I ran over it with a 25,000 lb vehicle. It still works. This didn't even scratch the screen. If this had been an iphone the damage would have been so great as to break 10 other iphones randomly in other states.

Why can't all phones be like this? Would it be so horribly unprofitable to make a durable product? I can understand that my xbox or tv or computer is not waterproof or impact proof. They don't have to be because they are not portable. If you tell me your device is portable I should be able to put it in my pocket and then go about my rugged, impact ridden, extremely dusty and sweaty day and not have to worry. I shouldn't pull it out of my pocket and find the screen cracked because my car keys were also in my pocket and OH MY GOD I sat down. I sat down. I didn't go bungee jumping or fight a UFC bout or stab myself in the leg with an ice pick right where the phone was. All I did was sit down. The horror.

All this to say you won't be getting a hold of me on my phone for a while because I don't have $300 or more to replace my phone. Maybe Obama can give me a phone or at least promise to. I should be able to send text messages on his promises combined with ATT's 97% of all Americans covered shouldn't I? Makes sense to me.