I have a good story to tell you this time, whoever you are. It's a true story of course, with some input from me being mostly rash statements designed to inflame.

There's this guy at Wal-Mart who works ICS. ICS means inventory control something or other. Basically they are the overnight stockers of the day. I was off when this happened, but his son died a few weeks ago. He was only sixteen. I don't know the circumstances, I just know he was gone for two weeks or something close to that. Obviously he went to the funeral and spent time with relatives, the usual grieving activities I imagine. He applies for bereavement pay, and fully expects to get it. The Home Office decides he doesn't get to have any bereavement pay, no sick pay, no nothing, just absent from work for two weeks. Their reasoning? He was behind on his child support.

Where to start with this one? I'm having a hard time thinking of a way to categorize just how wrong the company is in this instance. Is it their responsibility to make sure their employees are paying child support? Is it any of their business whether he's behind? Is there any reason on our earth why he shouldn't get bereavement pay for attending his SON'S funeral? He was probably behind because he wasn't getting paid shit to be here working for this mentally unstable company. Our store manager is trying to get this fixed, but the company isn't budging. Why? Where do they get off denying him what is rightfully his? At the most 2 weeks pay for his position is around $700 (I only make $500 every two weeks, but he's been here longer). Do you think a company that profited $10.6 billion last year can spare $700? I think they can.

The extent to which this pisses me off is not even scratched here in this blog. If a pregnant woman were to loudly disagree with me it would take every fiber of my being not to resort to violence. I'm talking about assaulting a pregnant lady here if she thinks Wal-Mart is justified in not paying this man. If every store in the country burned down tomorrow, I would laugh my ass off. I'd bring some hot dogs to my store so I could get something out of it. Who in the wild Blue sometimes Gray FUCK do they think they are? I make, after taxes, $13,000/year working for this fucking shitty immoral hateful racist fucked up company. Let's call that profit. $81,538.46 is equivalent to one penny of my income proportionally. That's 116 times the two weeks pay this man should be paid. They must get their whores cheap. They won't relinquish .008% of one cent to relieve this man's financial burden incurred by missing two weeks work. They've just said, "Fuck your son, fuck your family, and fuck you Mr. Associate." If I give this man $20 tomorrow, I will have given proportionally two million times more than Wal-Mart is willing to give, and all because I know it's none of my business whether he's up to date on child support. Always low wages, always.

Today at work they had the Human Resources guy from district level at our store holding meetings where we can bitch freely and he will try to respond to us. His job from what I can see is to relate the company's perspective to the associates with the most positive spin imaginable. Not that Wal-Mart is doing this, but if they were killing babies, he would find a way to make you forget your questions and objections while explaining how this was the only cost effective measure they could take against the babies.

I don't know why I suddenly forget all my questions and my mind becomes a butter knife suitable for only cutting the warmest of spreadable lipids whenever I get in front of the person I want to ask the questions to. This is why I need to write stuff down before hand. I would have done this but my hands were tied. The only cost effective method of writing this stuff down was to play Call of Duty 2 for three hours last night and then go to sleep. It would have been a nice thing to do but if you look at the big picture you are actually being selfish for expecting more from me. Obviously these two short paragraphs have been an effort for me to put you in my position in this meeting. I can say that we are evaluating the possibility of improving the effectiveness of this blog, and we'll definitely have something in place in the near future that will deal with this issue.

If you haven't figured it out yet, most of what I do here is complain about stuff. Sometimes I try to be funny, and sometimes it even works. On that note...

Here is an article about how Wal-Mart is shifting to a more part-time work force. To quote the article:

"Wal-Mart executives say they embraced the new policies for a large number of their 1.3 million workers to better serve customers, the newspaper said. But some Wal-Mart workers say the changes are further reducing their modest incomes and putting a strain on personal lives, the newspaper reported."

How would you feel if you had worked for Wal-Mart for the last 10 years, making $15/hour, and they suddenly change your position to part time? Also, with pay caps in force, if you are making more than the cap is, you can keep your rate of pay, but if you change positions, you have to accept the pay cap for that position. So, if they change your position to a part time position, you could be looking at a $4/hour paycut. They are honestly hoping that you will quit so they don't have to pay you anymore. To better serve customers they say? Sam Walton said that if you take care of your people, they will take care of the customer. How is this policy taking care of your people? If I just got a paycut because of restructuring, do you think I'm really going to give a shit if you can't find The Gilmore Girls Season 5 on DVD? Do you think I'm going to give you any information on that new laptop or talk to the Blue Bell vendor to see if he has that flavor of ice cream you want? Mull that one over Mr. Wal-Mart Decision Maker. You'll say I'm just not a dedicated associate. You're right, I'm a mercenary. I'm here working for you for money. I'm not working for the thrill of victory, or for the moral satisfaction of helping stupid people use amazingly easy to use products. I'm not here because I love the blue vest or because I want a date with a certain cashier. I'm here for the damned money. I would think this would be obvious. All other considerations are secondary. If I can't pay my bills, then it's awfully hard to keep my chin up and kick major ass at work.

Another Quote:

"Investment analysts and store managers say Wal-Mart executives have told them the company wants to transform its work force to 40 percent part-time from 20 percent, the Times reported.
Wal-Mart denies it has a goal of 40 percent part-time workers, although company officials said part-timers now comprise 25 percent to 30 percent of its workers, up from 20 percent last October, according to the newspaper."

You deny that is your goal? Are you saying that the store managers are lying? If they're such liars, why did you trust their character enough to make them store managers? Obviously the store managers got this information from somewhere. They didn't just make this up. I know this article is from the New York Times which is not the most reliable source these days, but seriously is this not just a line of crap they are feeding us?

Every day in the Wal-Mart daily news, which is a .pdf file of short news stories available to Wal-Mart associates on work computers, there are all these articles about how great Wal-Mart is doing and how they are being so environmentally aware these days. I don't deny this, but why couple this environmental move with a sudden hatred for your workers? I can smell a union coming on and you did it all to yourself there, hero. You feed us these lies and hope it will make us feel better about how much it is starting to suck to work here? Do you think I'm stupid or complacent enough to actually believe you? Do you actually believe the letters you get in your associates speak out section that talk about how great the company is, but they only ever some from District level management, distribution centers, or Home Office Associates? Regular store people don't talk about how great it is to work for Wal-Mart because it fucking isn't great to work for you. Prove me wrong, I really want you to. I will eat a half cup of Hellmans with no chaser if you prove me wrong. I'll eat a raw tomato with no water to wash it down with if you prove me wrong. I really hate tomatoes. Come on, feed me a tomato. I know you can do it, but you won't do it. You don't care enough to make me eat a tomato.

Two days ago we learned that our landlord decided to steal our security deposit from us. She also stole our lawnmower and a few of my power tools along with a worthless treadmill and a broken fan. As a result, we left the remaining mess in the back yard. She should have fun cleaning that up with her "broken foot." I would go into more detail, but it will just piss me off. Just don't rent from Debbie Moore of Bowie, Texas. I wonder if that's lawsuit material.

I was actually kind of happy to hear that she was a thieving whore because I really didn't want to clean up that shit out of the back yard, and I really didn't want to mow the lawn. There's a good side to everything. I was trying to figure out what the right response was to her crap, and I think the unexpected thing would be to clean the rest of the stuff, paint the house, and perhaps build some sort of garage, and also installing an inground pool. I no longer wonder why people leave their houses in shitty shape when they leave as renters. It seems that most landlords are worthless sons of bitches that lie and cheat and steal. I pledge, as a fledgling landlord, not to be this way. I'll even help you clean the house when you are moving out, and give you back your deposit with interest. I will shine like a Jesus among landlords. This is why I need to make more money, so I can buy all the houses from all the assmonger landlords in this town and make it a better place to live.

I am the landlord.

I am posting this from my own house. I own it, it is mine. Well, it's mine for something or other a month. We finally finished painting on Thursday of last week. Moving the stuff here was the easy part. A nice lady from work lent us a trailer to load enormous amounts of crap onto, which cut our trips back and forth by 3/4 easily. It's good to have friends.

I have set up the video game center first, obviously. I haven't even gotten the wires off the floor. This is a clear demonstration of my priorities.

According to the book, Pirates 2, Clerks 2, Broken Bridges (don't know about this one), and Snakes On A Plane all get released the same day in my Wal-Mart. I think it's the first Tuesday in December. It's somewhere around there anyway. We always release on a Tuesday. Right there is at least $60 I have to spend on DVD's, not to mention Cars, which comes out a couple of weeks before. Cars was cool, kids movie or not. Definitely check it out, the animation is excellent. How am I going to get $80 all at once? Are you telling me I have to budget and save something aside? Preposterous!

Some sixteen year old kid decided to steal a knife on Monday. He used a razor to cut the top off of the package, then proceeds to cut the living fuck out of his hand getting it out of the package. He then goes up front and claims he cut it on a shelf, and the store ends up paying for his hospital trip to get his hand stitched up. We didn'tk now he cut it on a piece of thievery until the other day when we found a bloody knife package. I think we should take the stitches back out of his hand. The son of a bitch. Where are his parents? Why wasn't he in school? His parents should beat the living fuck out of him. I know my ass would have gotten spanked at sixteen if I cut school to steal a knife and ended up in the hospital. No, I would have not fought back against my Dad even as a teenager, because he is stronger than me. Also, I wasn't that kind of kid. My parents cared about me. They didn't leave me to be raised by the TV or by my teachers. I can feel some kind of preaching coming on, so I'm cutting this short.

In their infinite corporate wisdom, Wal-Mart decided to have me and about eight other department managers unload the truck this morning at 8:45am. Some of us were very upset, I was sort of irritated. I wasn't doing anything anyway, because I'm done. Running my department is like driving for hours along a straight flat highway. It's just not that hard to keep it going straight, minor adjustments are all you need. So, when I say I'm done I am, except for the four or five carts of backstock that need to be worked. I could work these, but they represent at most about two hours of constant effort for one person. I usually wait until my sales associate comes in and we work it together. We got it done, all she had left to do was one cart and then all that's left is the new freight. Overnighters do that, so there's really no pressure. Given that as my situation, unloading the truck in one hour wasn't a detriment to my workload. I actually rather enjoyed it.

The problem is when the unloaders show up at 2, there won't be shit for them to do. They are after all unloaders, their sole purpose is to work the truck. They get paid less than we do. So the company just wasted man hours unloading a truck six hours early for no reason at all. There was no second truck coming in later, I checked. They worked most of the freight up, and the unloaders can easily finish what's left, so the overnight shift will have absolutely nothing to do. I just don't understand the reason for having us unload it that early. Why can't they tell us why? Is it such a Goddamned secret? Also, the other department managers had things that needed to be done. They just called all the large male people they could think of to unload. Just because I'm not doing much in the morning doesn't mean they don't have a different routine. Many of them only have one person besides them for their department all week. They have to work much harder than I do to get things done. On top of that I know for sure that a couple of them have worthless helpers that don't do shit all day. Please, leave the unloading to the unloaders, and let the department managers do the department managing.

I could say I didn't update yesterday as a way to have a moment of silence for 9/11, but I'm not nearly superficial enough nor important enough to pull that one off. If I ever do get so famous that people expect my blog every day, then I will definitely have a no post day with no explanation on 9/11. If you're going to do something for someone, you should be willing to keep your motivations hidden, as to make sure you aren't really doing it to make yourself feel better.

So, we're moving in one week from midnight and I haven't packed anything. I haven't even packed up age old cd's and empty cd cases. I still have the Halo books on the shelf. Certainly my life could go on without the Halo books. Why do I own Halo books? I was desperate to know more of that world. I thought, with proper writing those books could be awesome. The first book, called The Fall Of Reach, focused on the origins of Master Chief and his Spartan training. I am a sucker for basic training stories, which explains my enjoyment of Bloodsport, GI Jane, Full Metal Jacket, and other things I've seen or read that include basic training as a basic character development tool. The story was pretty good too, you really get a sense of how bleak it is for humanity in the books. The game just doesn't translate that all too well. You get the feeling that it doesn't matter what happens because you will personally kick the shit out of every alien bastard and single handedly save the human race.

Basic Training is best experienced as a montage. I don't recommend 8 weeks of bullshit to the average jackass. I know you Marines get 12 weeks, and your genitals have clearly reaped the rewards, but I didn't join the Marines. I joined the Army. I liked the Army until the end of my second year, then I started not really caring. Obviously that was the first clue that I should find somewhere else to be. You don't want some jackass who doesn't care sent over to places like Iraq. I wouldn't want him in my foxhole. I actually got to the point where I didn't want me in my foxhole. Enough about that. I haven't been in the army since 1999.

Today marked the first day you could buy the original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. Not the doctored "look how much George Lucas hates himself and others" version, but the original version. The one that actually changed science fiction movies. I emailed a picture to myself, but Cingular isn't in the mood today I guess.

Today I didn't touch the Xbox. You might want to see if the planets stopped rotating or something. Not that we even have nine planets anymore. First we stop pronouncing Uranus correctly, then we told Pluto to go fuck itself. Now what is Mickey Mouse's dog named after? I don't know, some fucking rock somewhere. This means they lied to me about something else in school. They have a lot to answer for, whoever they are.

Since I talk so much about video games here, I am posting what I would like to see happen with Call of Duty 3. I am in favor of the current Halo health system, where if you get hurt, you just wait under cover for your "shields" to regenerate, although I am interested in what it could be like to have a medic come and heal your ass. I just worry about that in multiplayer. Obviously the job of medic is going to be like being the goalie in gym class, no one wants to do it and they put the retard in the goal. If they can make it fun to be a medic then it could work. Maybe in the single player game you could have the option to play through as a medic on certain levels. Imagine being a medic on Omaha beach. I think that would keep you busy.

I want them to give me the option as the host to turn off weapons if I feel the need. Turning off scopes in a big level makes it more interesting in some ways. Nothing against scopes but it would be nice to customize the experience. Also, I would probably turn off shotguns in all situations except for playing headquarters. Shotguns are goddamned annoying. It would be nice if you could edit these options in the middle of the match also. I'm sure there are assholes out there that would abuse this power, but that's what negative feedback is for.

Speaking of middle of the match, it would be awesome if you could kick an annoying bastard in the middle of the match. Also, when you kick someone it should give you a reason option, so if you are kicking them for no negative reason, let's say you want your friend in the room and this stranger is in the way, it's a no hard feelings kick. However if you kick them for trash talking or camping, they are banned from reentering the room for let's say, 20 minutes or something. Perhaps you could set the time for their absence, in 5 minute increments. There could be a forever option too, but this option would have to require you to leave feedback about them.

It would also be nice if they could fix the lag problem with throwing smoke. I see no reason for my machine to shit itself because I tossed smoke. I've noticed on many occasions that there's a shitload of smoke on your screen, but no smoke at all on the screen of the person who just shot you. Another graphical glitch is when you have the flag and your back is to the wall, people on the other side of the wall can see the flag poking through. I've died on more than one occasion because of this, and I see no reason why this can't be fixed.

Also, in multiplayer it would be cool if you could use a flak 88. I imagine the cries of bullshit, many of which will come from me, but it would still rock. I could see it being used in regular deathmatch as well as search and destroy. This should also be an option to turn off if you're the host. Turning off all fixed guns or selecting which fixed guns you want would be awesome. That could inspire a new multiplayer mode where the flak 88 Germans have to take out something while the Americans have to stop them. That idea needs revision obviously.

Guess what happened this morning. Steve Irwin died. A stingray with poisonous barbs stabbed him through the heart. That is some shit. Apparently he was making some kind of film about dangerous sea creatures and swam too close to a fucking stingray. He should have stuck with the crocodiles. I wonder if there was some kind of warning or something that said "Stay away from the stingray Steve!" I actually feel sort of bad here for a moment or two. I don't know why. How many creatures had their buttholes explored by his thumb? Although to me it doesn't mean he deserved to die. Fuck the animals, especially the edible ones and the ones that inflitrate my house uninvited. Fuck them on TV with your Thumb. You're reading the rantings of a man who has seen another man with his arm up a cow's ass to the shoulder. He was searching for something. He wasn't wearing gloves. Maybe he was on a lifelong search for his keys. Did I spell his name right? Shit I don't know.

Here's a news article.

Despite all that I still feel bad for his family. I guess I was raised right then.

It's been a long time here. I have a few things to report, such as buying a house, but first I must say I have just spent the last 10 hours playing Call of Duty 2 on xbox live. This is my cry for help.

So we bought a house on a corner, and our closing day is September 15th. This unfortunately means we're moving on the 20th. Moving is for suckers. The bright side is it should be the last move for a while, since we own the place and all. Famous last words, you say? Fuck you. I can stay in the same situation for fucking eons, especially if it sucks. Not that this is going to suck, and that may be my downfall.

I've seen a bunch of movies in the last two months. Miami Heat, Pirates of the Carribean 2, Lady in the Water, The Matador, Clerks 2, Talladega Nights, and Snakes On a Motherfucking Plane. I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane. I hear Samuel L. Jackson agreed to do the movie on the strength of the title alone. Don't watch it expecting a good story, watch it expecting snakes on a motherfucking plane. If that's not enough, a chihuahua gets fed to an anaconda. It wasn't the same Anaconda that Ice Cube drove a pickaxe through as he called it a bitch. This Anaconda eats fucking chihuahuas. Yes I had to look that word up since I couldn't spell it.

Don't expect too much from Lady in the Water. It's just not nearly as good as Unbreakable. Miami Heat was absolutely awesome. In no way should you miss that movie. Pirates 2 was good, but not as good as the original. Bill Nighy is pretty good as Davy Jones. Clerks 2 is the funniest movie I've seen in years. It ranks up with The Ref for favorite comedy. Talladega Nights was funny enough, but I saw it the same day I saw Clerks 2 so it didn't make a good impression. The Matador is good. You get to see Pierce Brosnan try to kick a rat dog off his heel as he bangs this prostitute from behind. It's pretty fucked up.

That was your movie minute with me, the movie minute motherfucker. I SAID FUCK YEAH! Check out the hook while my dj revolves it.

Why does my sign in page for Blogger still tell me they are planning an outage for November 14th, 2005? I mean, they could send Michael Biehn back through time to stop the outage, but that would only lead to Terminator 3 and PG-13 naked female terminators. They specially make them without exposed boobs to better blend in with today's PG-13 society. Plus if you show Arnold actual naked tits, you are likely to cause some kind of singing episode, so we really don't want that at all.

The vacation looms on the horizon like 9 days of unorganized time. I have absolutely no idea what I should do over my vacation. I was thinking of watching a couple of new movies in theaters, but I'm not sure I have the money for such an outing. I am excited about not going to work for a week, but I equate that to someone getting cured of cancer and being happy they aren't dying anytime soon. I mean, it would be nice to be happy because you can go on living, but you can't do that without something to do, all you can do is just not die. That's my vacation, spending a week not working. The hardest part will be not playing xbox for the whole time and really wasting an opportunity. Although with a week of straight play, 24/7, I could be so goddamned good at Call of Duty 2 as to cause them to release a patch compensating for Jason. Imagine that in your update notes, compensated for Jason. Now Jason won't kill you every time he sees you, it's been reduced to every two out of three encounters. (This is truly me being full of myself. I lose much more often than I win, and die at least as often as I kill in that game. In straight deathmatch, I finish between 2nd and 4th out of eight players. Unless they're what I call clancocks).

That reminds me of all the nicknames I have for annoying behavior. There's a particular level with a silo in it that you can climb on top of. Those who do are towerbitches. I sometimes use towerwhore, but whore is usually saved for shotgunners. Then there's those camping motherfuckers who can only go on a killing spree when they hang out on a turret and catch those of us with real skill off guard. These are the turretfags. Much like the rocketfags of Halo2 (sing it like the Elton John song Rocketman, because it's you, you're the Rocketman) these people have no real skill with any weapons and must rotate from turret to turret to gain any points whatsoever. Then there's the camping cockknocker. We all know about campers. They sit in corners with shotguns and wait for you to walk by and not check your "danger corner." These are most often run into in levels with lots of houses.

Let's see, not much happens to me every day, so there isn't much to update. I could go on and on about work, but that even bores me after a while. Dad has been driving and driving, he should have a break in about a week or so. I have vacation coming up the week after next, which is long overdue. When you feel like quitting your job almost every day, it's about time to take a week off. I'm not sure where I'll go, but it's bound to be more fun than going to work every day.

The novelty of the Xbox has worn off, but the novelty of xbox live has not. I find myself searching for new games that are as much fun as Call of Duty 2. I have been playing it so much for so long, that when I tried to play Halo2 the other day, it really disappointed me. It sucks not being able to aim.

This month and next are shaping up to be excellent movie months. I'm looking forward to Superman and Pirates of the Carribean for sure. Then there's Miami Vice, which looks absolutely awesome. Of course, I'm a Michael Mann fanboy, so I would think that. Then of course, there's Clerks 2. Yes, you heard right. Jason Mewes not on heroin. I wonder what that's like. Also, Pinky and the Brain comes out on DVD at the end of July. Does animated comedy get any better?

Speaking of animated comedy, The Simpsons Movie is coming out next year. Indeed, there is much to look forward to. If you were contemplating suicide, this should give you a temporary respite.

I watched Xmen 3 Saturday afternoon. I'm not sure how to take it. I liked it well enough. It was entertaining to watch and all that, but it didn't have the same feel that Xmen 2 had. It's also hard for me to discuss this without revealing spoilers. Let's just say that three characters die, and Nightcrawler is nowhere to be found. Also Bullet Tooth Tony is Juggernaut. I didn't realize Juggernaut was British. I can't remember his real name, Vinnie Jones or something? Anyway, two of the characters I cared about, and the other was kind of meh. The whole thing centers around a cure from this mutant whose mutation is to reverse mutations. How he doesn't reverse his own mutation I don't know. I'm just supposed to accept this apparently. So, through a process they don't go into in the movie they extract his anti mutant mutation and weaponize it. They also offer it as a cure. Obviously this pisses off all mutants and gives Magneto his scapegoat to rouse all mutants to revolution, so expect one anti human speech after another. Two important characters from the last two movies lose their mutation, but they pull some typical shit like the comics did with Superman. They kill him, then they bring him back, then they kill him, etc. They use this to set up a sequel. It's worth watching for special effects, maybe. It's better than other movies I watched for that purpose, such as Final Fantasy The Spirits Within, and The Day After Tomorrow, which had serious flaws. Really I should have learned my lesson a long time ago when it comes to stuff like this. Did I learn nothing from the Wild Wild West?

Overall, I say watch it, but maybe wait for a rental. It's good enough to spend some money on anyway. I managed to spend only $5.75, so if you can see it in the theater for that price, then by all means.

On a side note, I think Dad is watching Shaft. I will always recognize bow chicka bow. Who indeed is the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

I haven't been online much lately. Well, on the computer anyway. I've been absorbed by Call of Duty 2 on Xbox live. I just finished a game where we decided, as a team, to see how many times we could kill each other. I ended up with -58 kills, but this other guy had -141. I kept killing Germans though. that takes away from my score. It was kind of lame, but amusing nonetheless.

Dad has passed his tests and should be getting here around 7-8am. He gets 5 days off once he gets here, and then he goes out driving solo and getting paid proper. I'm looking forward to having him here, haven't seen him in about a month.

Saturday we are going to see Xmen 3. Before we see it we will eat at this Japanese restaurant called The Shogun. They cook the food in front of you and serve it up with rock and roll. I'm not so sure about the movie, but I've wanted to see it. I have a bad feeling that it will suck. The "hip" beat in the trailer was my first clue. We'll see. I might remember to post some thoughts, and I might not. Anyway, I'm sure there are people online who need to get their asses handed to them. I'm off.

July the twenty fifth is the day to look out for. That's because Pinky and the Brain releases on DVD that day. Also releasing that day, and this is no coincidence, is the Animaniacs. They are zany to the max. I practically require these things. Buy one for yourself and for a friend. Show Warner Brothers you are glad they finally got off their asses.

So, apparently some cock craving chucklefuck decided to submit a negative review of me on xbox live, saying that I was exhibiting unsportsmanlike conduct. (Really, unsportsmanlike conduct is not using a weapon provided, it's team killing or just sitting there not helping your team when you have no reason not to do so). Having played a match with a bunch of people calling me and this other guy shotgun whores, I think I know who was being the dick. Really, why is the shotgun there except to be used by fuckers like me? It's not like I modded the game so only I have the shotgun. Dumbasses. How hard is it to kill me before I get within 10 feet of you anyway? It's not like you can snipe with the shotgun. I just don't get it. Call me a shotgun whore if you want, I don't care, but don't give me a negative review because I schooled your ass with it.

The other thing I was doing, and this is me being an asshole, was tossing smoke grenades in all fucking directions. Again, I figure if I have one, I might as well throw it before I get killed. It's wasted otherwise. Besides, you shouldn't be using the sniper rifle on a small level anyway, asshole. Clouds of death.

Dad should be home in about 12 days or so. He should be driving up here in a big ass truck. I'll try to have the lawn mowed by then. I hate doing that. But the Goddamned grass will grow and grow unless I march my pasty ass out there and mow it. It's one of those things.

And now a taste of what I'm listening to:

Cockroaches on the walls
Crabs crawling on my balls
Oh but I'm so clean cut
And I just want to fuck some slut
I love living in the city.

A lot of shit has happened since the last entry. Although in that span of time I haven't managed to clip my nails, which makes typing interesting at best. Hang on.

There. Let's see. We had inventory last week, which sucked so much ass I'm still feeling the hickeys. This next week I'm on nights because we have to reset the electronics modular, and the home office thinks we have 12 feet more space than we do because they can't get it through their supid fucking heads that we are only 99,000 square feet, not 140,000 or some such shit. They are busy sorting that out now. I suppose I should head in to work today to find out what to do about the fact that my department won't be worked for the next week. I have bad feelings about this. I just finished cleaning up after the inventory people who, of all things, managed to mess up most of my onhand counts. Most people wouldn't think that was a big deal, but the computer automatically orders stuff. If it doesn't know how much is on hand, it will either order way too much, or not order anything, neither of which is satisfactory. I don't have a big back room, and I hate being out of stock because people piss and moan, and I miss sales. I wonder if the moaning sounds like zombies. I should try moaning like that the next time I have to go.

The other thing that happened is we bought a new car. It is a 2004 Cavalier with a 4 cylinder engine, five speed transmission, and 19,300 miles on it. We got it for $8,500. By the time we pay all the payments, it will cost $13,000, so we are interested in making larger payments. The less we pay the better. Odd how paying more means paying less. Anyway, I was able to increase speed up a hill comparable to taking route 13 north out of Ithaca towards the Pyramid Mall from 50 to 75 mph, and in 5th gear at that. I was happy. The stereo sucks, but it has a cd player. It just farts instead of putting out bass. It works fine other than that. Dad is almost done with his training, which should mean we get to see him in a couple of weeks. After that he starts making the real money. Well, I've got like fifteen minutes to get ready, so I'm going to go.

Last night a number of interesting and rare things happened. I was playing Hexic HD with a friend, which is to say he was playing and I was giving advice. If you've ever played the game you will see how this is possible and potentially helpful. We actually got three black pearls to form a cluster. If you had told me last week that I would have participated in such a thing I would have not believed you in a forceful manner.

After this we decided to drive to Decatur to procure alcohol. I bought a 6 pack of Blue Moon, Mike's hard berry lemonade (Hard berries motherfucker. See a doctor.), and three different flavors of Boones Farm. I'm not kidding. Fucking Boones Farm. It has been a very long time since I bought alcohol if I'm sitting around and buying Boones Farm. I drank a whole bottle of it last night. It was like Koolaid with a sparkling fermented flavor, though I think NyQuil is stronger.

I'm not sure how Mom will take the presence of alcohol in the fridge, but I will do my best to get it out of there as soon as possible. I'm not sure she will take comfort in that either. I would try to invite people over to help consume it but I think every girl in town is pregnant, and the men are too busy beating them and hiding their shoes to participate. Not even for beer and the Xbox 360 will they stop beating their pregnant wives and girlfriends. Nothing like screaming first person violence in high definition. It seems I must undertake this task all on my own. It won't be easy, but I'll get it done. I have an excellent work ethic.

I was just sitting here listening to Blur, when I began to wonder if their lead singer is the same as the one for the Buzzcocks. I suppose I could look it up. While I'm thinking about music, I will recommend you listen to the Johnny Cash version of Personal Jesus. Much better than Marilyn Manson, surprise surprise.

Apparently Dad has to wait around for up to seven days while they wait for a trainer to be available. The good news is he is still getting paid $50/day to sit around, but the bad news is that there won't be a paycheck until he is able to make a delivery. I'm glad I'm not stuck somewhere with my thumb in my ass with no power to change the situation. I can pull my thumb out of my ass at any moment. He has to call a locksmith.

I was astonished to discover that I sold over 600 bags of ice Easter weekend. It was over ninety degrees both days, so it makes sense I guess. I told the ice delivery guy how much I sold, and he proceeded to tell me that a store thirty minutes away went through twelve pallets last weekend. There's 200 bags to a pallet. I couldn't begin to store that much ice at once. I am jealous. 2400 fucking bags. It makes me wonder what being busy really means around here.

So I talked to Dad today and he says he's all done taking tests. He thinks they will be taking off tomorrow at 1 or so to start on the road training, for which he gets paid $350/week. Once the trainer thinks he's ready, he gets signed off on, and goes to $0.29/mile. At 10 hours a day, 63 mph, that equals 630 miles per day, which adds up to 4,410 miles per week. That adds up to $1,278.90 per week minus taxes. (Today's post brought to you by the letter F, and by the number 1,278.9). That's not too shabby. I got 63 mph from the fact that their trucks are governed at 63 mph. For the uneducated, that means they can't go any faster than that. I was riding with a guy when he discovered that his Camaro is governed at 120mph. That was pretty fun.

Today was damned boring. I got to do a lot of thinking, and ended up calling myself a biscuit whisperer. You can see how productive my imagination is when I'm making up stuff to do. I don't fix people's problems with biscuits, I fix biscuits' problems with people. Picture me telling dark secrets to a bag of frozen biscuits. I don't know why you would picture that though. Prepare to receive my bad medicine.

I sometimes wonder if the Dreyers man knows I'm babysitting everything he does. I check with him when he orders for sure, but I don't know if he knows I check what actually comes in on the truck too. I wonder. If he finds out perhaps he will be upset, but perhaps he will stop ordering so much bullshit. Maybe in some other region people can't get enough of Dreyers, but around here, it's Blue Bell or nothing. People will pay $5 for a half gallon of Blue Bell long before they will pay $3.68 for a half gallon of Edy's. I can't explain this to the buyer either.

So I found out today that you have to have a year of supervisor experience before you can apply for management training. I have 6 months with the company, unless you count the 5 years I worked for Gnomon Copy supervising on weekends only. Even then, that was unofficial. I just knew more than the weekenders, so I was in charge of them, which meant doing most of the work. I definitely don't miss working weekends there. TakeNote can stick it up their ass. They never pay their bill anyway.

Dad has arrived in Arkansas for orientation. I guess one needs orientating upon arrival in that state. He starts driving on Friday for actual pay, so that will be nice. I'm sure he'll have some good stories. I hope his trainer is a good guy and not some kind of Full Metal Jacket person.

Not much going on around here, the internet was down for a couple of hours this afternoon. I noticed immediately of course, since I tried to play Halo 2 and was unable to connect. Oh well. We played some more cooperative, since that's less frustrating with two than multiplayer is. Widescreen TV's split the screen vertically, which makes it nearly impossible to see anything to the right or left. It's disorientating. I'm much better with the whole TV. Anyway, time to sleep.

Well, it's Easter. This weekend hasn't been the best one of late. Dad is back until tomorrow morning at 4am, when I take him to the bus station. He has a 24 hour or something like that bus ride and then he gets to the company he's going to be working for. He has one more test to take that involves 90 degree backing. I'm pretty sure I can't do that, but I've never tried.

My truck blew a head gasket Friday night. This is the second time it's happened, though this time it's not my fault. A certain connector disintegrated spraying antifreeze all over the place, and my Mom didn't realize anything was wrong until the truck wouldn't run anymore. So, that puts me out either $500+ or $60 and 4 hours of hell. I can't describe how I hate working on cars. I hate it. Really and truly. We still have Mom's red van that won't top 45 mph, which will get us to work and back just fine. We also have Dad's van, but that thing gets 7mpg, so that's for emergency use only.

None of this stopped us from watching Firefly on Friday. I believe it was the last disk. The last episode included Richard Brooks. It was a cool series. I hope they do something more with it soon. We are going to be grilling steaks tonight, steaks from Omaha. Rock and Roll is upon us.

I told this thing to add an image, but there is no indication that it did so. We'll see when I post this if it showed up. A couple of days ago, I killed my own teammate in Halo 2 and was subsequently booted. I can't really explain what was going through my head. I, for some goddamned reason, thought that I was in my own base, so when I saw this guy arming the bomb right next to me, I thought, "Not on my watch motherfucker," and proceeded to gun him down ruthlessly. It didn't occur to me that he wasn't fighting back, or that he was the same color as me. It's official, I am an asshole. It's safe to say that it won't happen again. He's probably blacklisted me, so I won't get the chance to apologize. If I had screwed up that badly back in high school, I would have been afraid to go back to school again.

For those of you following the Dad news, he passed his CDL test today, as if there was any doubt. He certainly was nervous about it last weekend. I didn't figure he would have a problem. It's just hard for me to imagine my Dad not being able to drive something. I don't know, maybe television has erased my imagination.

Firefly Disk 4 has arrived. We shall watch it tomorrow, as is our Friday routine, or at least if we do it this Friday it will be a routine. I am certain it will be worth waiting until tomorrow. We usually break it in with some Halo. We'll see. My connection has been really crappy lately, to the point where I spend most of the match watching the reconnect screen. I guess my ISP sucks before 8pm or so. When I don't have technical issues, I can piss people off. When I keep getting shitty connection problems, I look like a noob and am lucky to get 4 kills.

So, apparently calling someone a shitfucking cockmangler doesn't win them over to your side on xbox live. I really should learn to turn the microphone off. I did have to say to a particular set of morons that they should really learn not to stand still and zoom in with the sniper rifle. When the game is all snipers and no motion sensor, you are just asking for me to sneak up on you and bash you in the back of the head. I appreciate your ignorance, because that's my favorite way to kill someone. I just feel bad for you to always be humiliated in this way.

Today we finally watched disk three of Firefly. I am growing to like that series more by the minute. I am already feeling down that I will have to stop watching it after three more disks. It truly and totally sucks that they killed it. I crave more damnit.

Continuing from yesterday, I didn't see the Dreyers guy today. He said on Wednesday that he would be here Friday to kill a feature for me, but he didn't show. It's not that I can't kill a feature, that's easy. It's that he's a lying prick. He purposefully doesn't listen to what you want. If he were working for me I would fuck with him constantly. I would have him hating ice cream. He would go home and throw up when he sees an ice cream commercial on TV. Anyway, I'm off to sleep. (I always use anyway at the end of a post. I also use it to signal when you should shut up in an argument with me).

So, all my talk of today going to suck? It did. Today wasn't fucking around. It was the kind of day that gets down on its knees and puts that cock right in its mouth. The ice cream freezer stopped working last night, so they had to pull everything out of it and put it in shopping carts in the back room. While this saved the store upwards of $10,000, it meant that I had to restock everything this morning, as well as do all my freight that they didn't work last night. Needless to say, I was unprepared for the inspection from the corporate dirtbags. At least I was busy. If the dairy manager hadn't come over to help my ass, I would still be stocking shit. Today was a full day to say the least. Tomorrow the cleanup continues, as I must organize the shit out of the back room since I have so much goddamned backstock. I have been cleaning up after morons for the last two days, so I haven't had a chance to get shit done like I normally do. Tomorrow I count everything in the back, do all my price changes and kick the Dreyers man in the ass for being such a prick.

Soon enough another friend of mine is coming over to play some videogames. I must share the wealth. People need to see the 360 in action. It's a side benefit that I get to feel the shallowest of emotions as my friends play games on my system. I just feel that I spent $400 and I will get more out of it if I get to share it with others. As long as I get to watch. Although there isn't much that's more frustrating than watching someone go through what you've already gone through, and they are doing it wrong. Anyway, I think he's here, so I'm going to go now.

Goddamnit it Webtrap. Now I have to retype this whole thing thanks to your fucking stupid ass. I should uninstall you, you fuck.

Anyway, as I had said before webtrap fucked this post in the ass, there were some friends over for Ghost Recon this evening. It was worth it. We switched to Halo 2 later, and got our asses kicked. I managed a few second place finishes, but I couldn't really find a rhythm. Halo2 is all about the rhythm.

Dad is off to trucking school. He comes back briefly this weekend, and then takes his road test next week. After that he takes off to work full time for the company that sponsored his schooling. As I've said before the down side is he will be gone for so long. He only gets 4 days off per month. They haven't said if those days are all together or not, but I imagine they are. Only the Army pulls shit like that on their people. This will go hardest on Mom. I've suggested that she go with him, but he feels she won't be able to handle it and she feels she has to continue working. Not that I'm trying to get them out of the house, but in my mind they should be together.

Tomorrow is shaping up to be a shitty day at work. They are sending us dirtbags from corporate to inspect us. These people will find something wrong because there must be something up if your sales are up 44% yesterday and 22% for the week. They are just desperate to find a way to bring the company down. If they fire me, I don't really care. I can just follow my father's footsteps. Also I can make real money while I'm at it. Anyway, I'm off to sleep, or tomorrow will suck harder.

It sucks when you're looking forward to Firefly disc 3 and it doesn't show up. It was due to arrive Thursday. I've yet to see Netflix be this late. I've had to find other things to do.

I bought the 360 last night around 7pm. I brought it home, set it up, and played Ghost Recon. It's awesome, if not a little bit frustrating. Imagine Brothers in Arms with a steeper learning curve. It's really good, I just need practice. I cannot explain how awesome it is to take out a tank with a rocket launcher at close range. It looks absolutely amazing. I'm surprised I'm not playing it now.

My Dad leaves for Weatherford tomorrow. He's gone for three weeks. Maybe he has a weekend there somewhere, but I don't remember. In the meantime, it's just my sister, my mom, and me. I guess that means I have to do all the fixing around the house. People usually know better than to ask me, but I just am not so good at fixing sinks, cars, etc. If it's not related to video games, I don't know how to fix it. Maybe I'm just lazy. The difference here is that Dad is going off to make $41,000+ per year. That's almost 3 times what I make. It does make it easier to deal with him not being here when you know he's not coming back emptyhanded.

On a side note, read this.

The bonus is here. Almost $400 of it went to taxes. While that truly and totally sucks, I still have $900+ more than I would have otherwise. Apparently the Xbox 360 will arrive Friday night. So, I guess I know what I'll be doing at midnight on Friday. In the interim, I have bought Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter, a wireless controller and a plug and play kit. I had to at least be able to play coop Halo2.

Last night we went to an Italian place called Bellas for my Dad's birthday. It's an Italian place owned by Italians. In New York, it's unheard of for it to be otherwise, but there are so few Italians here that I've met that it bears mentioning. To say the least, they are my favorite place within fifty miles. Nine of us ate there for less than $80. That doesn't include the tip, but that's an ambiguous figure. It's a dry county, so there's nothing cool like wine or beer to be had, but it was good nonetheless. They were kind enough to play the Kenny G version of the theme from 2001. There was a conversation started by me about how much more food would be consumed in the world if men were the ones to get pregnant. I believe the world couldn't sustain such a constant drain. We can only thank God that in his infinite wisdom, women are the ones he saddled with this role.

After the dinner we all came back to my little house and ate Blue Bell Hot Chocolate ice cream and two frozen pies by Edwards, Banana Cream, and Moose Tracks. We didn't finish off the pies, we just finished off one. You never leave Bellas with enough room for much dessert. It was a good time.

My Father is in the other room watching The Big Lebowski. I am a little distressed. There is a whole shitload of swearing in that movie. There is so much swearing that even I get sick of hearing it after the first hour. That's like Popeye geting sick of spinach, except that swearing doesn't give me super strength.

As I sit here in my distressed state, I have decided to get the 360 and Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter. I will still have $540 left over after this. This is cool to say the least. I was looking at a digital camera to supplement my high definition gaming ness. Obviously I'm looking to Wal-Mart for all of this, because there's nothing else within an hour's drive. They have it. They must have it.

The Dude has just crashed his car after Walter screwed up the handoff. Fuck it, let's go bowling.

The Great Outdoor Fight is really starting to kick ass. If you aren't reading it, you should be. Start here. We've left off here. I literally can't wait to see what's happened next.

I've been watching Firefly via netflix these days. I really don't see why they cancelled the show, it is downright awesome. The movie was pretty decent too. Fox is so Goddamned gay sometimes. Observe the rap music in the Xmen3 trailer. No reason for that whatsoever, except Fox. I speculate, because I read about it somewhere, that they will kill Professor X and Cyclops. Who kills them? Jean Gray does, of course. I'm happy to be wrong, but it looks like I'm not. Anyway, I hope they get Firefly back on the air with this petition here, or this petition here. You can also go to this site here and fill out a profile, if you care enough to say you will financially support their efforts, which means you will subscribe to cable or buy DVD's if they're released. It asks for your email address, but it's not required. Basically it surveys your past Firefly purchases and the way you would prefer to receive future episodes, should they be made. Unless you hate the series, in which case don't bother.

So, the bonus is a week away and the only thing on my mind is the Xbox 360. I'm not even sure what game I should get for it. I don't think there really are very many good games for it. Call of Duty 2 of course springs to mind, but whatever. I really like games like that but that game doesn't really blow my mind like I think a new game for a new system really should. The only real reason I want one is for Halo 3, whenever that comes out and whatever they decide to call it. I suppose I am the only person in the world who enjoyed the story from the second game, but I absolutely can't wait to find out what happens next. I think they need to put more than two Hunters against you at once. I think it would be awesome to get ambushed by four of them in tight quarters. I also am hoping for downloadable episodes that will cover things like the grunt rebellion and the taming of the Hunters. They could release a series of episodes that go from Arbiter to Arbiter and cover a lot of covenant history. I think I'd be willing to pay for that, say around $10/episode or so. Well, as long as the episodes contained at least two or three hours of gameplay I'd pay that much for them. Who am I kidding, I'd pay for them anyway, I would just consider it a ripoff for less than three hours.

Anyway, back to the bonus. We are getting $1300 minus taxes this next Thursday. Most people I talk to are paying off debts or fixing their vehicles. I plan on fixing my vehicle somewhat; it needs new tires, the heat is stuck on, and the fuel gauge doesn't work. I just don't want it to all go to obligations. That's fucking boring. I hardly ever get to buy something big, and this seems like the thing to get. I know, I know, you can always argue that if I stopped snacking at work, I would save upwards of $80+/month or so, and you would be right, but I don't see that happening in the near or distant future. Damnit, I'm hungry at first break and I don't want to wait until lunchtime to eat. So, the bonus gets me into the next generation of video gaming.

I am seriously considering a better job. By better I mean better paying. $8.05/hour for managerial responsibilities is fucking bullshit. No manager anywhere ever should ever make less than $10/hour. I don't give a shit who you are working for. If you're the guy in charge of people's pay rates, don't you dare consider payroll an expense. You consider it an investment or you are just the biggest fucking asshole and a representative of what's wrong with the corporate mindset. I manage an area responsible for $104,000/month in gross sales and you barely pay me $16,000/year. You are obviously one short sighted motherfucker. Let's not mention that I have had a consistent 10-20% increase in sales over last year. I guess I'm letting this get to my head. It's not like I can't just go drive a truck, where they will pay me $350 more in a two week pay period as starting pay than you will after almost two years of dedicated labor. I don't believe in not being dedicated to my job. If you pay me to work, I'm going to work my ass off for you. I will be there on time and only excessive vomiting will cause me to miss a day. I know I'm doing more than $8.05/hour's worth of work for you. I'm not the only one either. Others work their asses off just as hard if not harder, and the best you can do is a 55 cent/hour payraise once a fucking year. Please. (This has finished up as one angry post. I actually like my job, I just don't like my company so much).

I had a couple of friends over last night to watch Domino. It's a good movie. It wasn't a good movie to watch with my parents in the house. I found that the most objectionable content was the music. There was a rap song where the chorus was some kind of operatic "motherfucker." Rap aficionados probably know what song I'm referring to. Interestingly enough, Gracenote doesn't return any results for the soundtrack, so I have no way of knowing what songs were played (I keep getting all kinds of Fats Domino bullshit. It's really pissing me off). At any rate, the enjoyment level of the movie was significantly lowered because the parents were in the house.

This weekend, while the parents are at work, we are having a shindig where we will watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I've seen it in the theater, but I've never seen it on my TV. It will be fun. The old overnight crew gets together one last time to watch a movie and make fun of it. The last time we were all together for a movie was when we watched Team America: World Police. That movie is awesome. The best line from it is "Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that cock right in his mouth." The best song is of course Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you. I don't know what the song is called exactly, but that line is what I remember. Also there is the slow version of "America, Fuck Yeah."

I almost forgot. A friend of mine who has my eternal gratitude sent me a link to Metal Slug Reloaded. You shall play and enjoy the hand drawn goodness.

Right now, my Dad is in the other room watching National Treasure. It's not a terrible movie. It isolates what sucks about Jerry Bruckheimer apart from Michael Bay. Michael Bay is all bad, and Jerry Bruckheimer picks the music.

My parents have generally improved the quality of life in the house, even if the place is more cramped. We have shelves in all sorts of areas I never thought to put them. I actually think my parents dislike this arrangement more than I do, or at least my Dad does. I have been taught through torture in grades 7-10 to get used to anything. It's not actually that bad to be able to talk to my parents whenever I want. I do like them and enjoy their company. It's also not that bad to have clean dishes, cooked food, and conversation with adults that doesn't involve a discussion of male anatomy and the many places it may choose to reside. However, I do need my quota of such conversation. If I don't get it, I'll probably slip up in front of Mom. It is not acceptable to discuss the applications of gay sex to everyday frustrations in front of your mother. I'm off to think of an outlet.

My Dad is in the other room watching Minority Report. Yes, it looks awesome on the HDTV. It's unbelievable the concern I have for my parents intake of morally questionable entertainment. Why do I care? I don't care what I watch, as long as it isn't a horror movie. I still feel I have to answer for my choice in movies. Am I fifteen again? Did I miss the memo on being fifteen for the purpose of interaction with my parents? Now that I've asked these questions, am I somehow required to assert my free will? Goddamnit do I ever need to grow up.

As fas as Minority Report goes, there isn't a whole lot of questionable content in it. The only content I question is how the fuck can he still use his eyes and not set off every alarm in the building? I guess in the future there isn't a way to flag someone like that. Oh wait, they found him on the train because the eye scanner picked him up, so why wouldn't it pick him up in the building? Whatever, it's a cheat. The movie is still interesting and well shot. Spielberg has become rather mainstream, but he's still really good. I really thought Catch Me If You Can had some excellent shots in it, and the introduction of the tripod in War of the Worlds was really cool as well. I also really liked the bridge twisting apart as they drove away. It's one of those action shots that stick out in my mind, like Indiana Jones being dragged behind the truck, the super star destroyer crashing into the death star, or the helicopter crash in the first Matrix movie. The latter was awesome by the way. As you can see with all the links, The Internet Movie Database is my friend.

Today was full of unloading and reloading vehicles as the ramifications of the exodus from Kentucky become clear. It won't be so bad, having them here. I actually like them, my parents. My other complaints were petty at best, even though they still stand. I think I will find they aren't as bad about things like movies as I had thought they were. I still won't introduce Kill Bill to them. They can try to watch that themselves. I can't wait for the day when I come home to that one.

(Not that Kill Bill is so bad really, it's just the most violent, full of swearing movie that I own).

It's just a matter of finding jobs, and they will be all set in my book. All set doesn't mean out of my house, it means on the path. Once they get jobs, they will feel better about being here, and they'll have something to do besides hang around. Texas is one boring place when you don't have a job. All you can do is sit around and swelter. I remember my first month here, and it did suck.

Mom already has a job at the Dairy Queen. She has worked there before, and they were delighted at the idea of paying her again. I mean, it is the Dairy Queen, but it could be worse. McDonald's is hiring I'm sure. Nothing against McDonald's except one thing: they represent the lowest end of the job food chain (well, to me at least). I hear that ditch digging is worse, but I bet they pay you better to dig ditches than to flip burgers.

Note to self, don't kick the reset button in your obsessive compulsive shifting of your legs while you are typing a post. Now I have to try and rephrase.

The parents are about 45 minutes away now. I promised them I would have something cooked. I imagine hamburger helper is about the best I can do. I'm not exactly a chef. Dad gave the impression that he is not thrilled at the thought of moving in with us, but Mom is quite excited about it. The feeling is symmetrical. I am also not exactly thrilled, but Liana is elated. I think she is happy to have someone besides us to do the dishes. I positively hate doing them, and now she will have a respite from the siege of cluttered counterspace and paper plates.

Man on Fire looks really cool in high definition. I'm really only saying that because it's on my mind and I want to make everyone without high definition feel jealous. In reality, it's not that big of a TV. Anyone with a respectable income can easily afford something twice as big. It does quite well for me, being the first HDTV I've ever owned. I like the whole concept of high definition, since it is widescreen by default. Now all those morons who bought fullscreen DVD's because they hated seeing the whole image on the screen will be bitching about the black bars on the sides. Ha Ha assholes. It's your fault for not buying widescreen to begin with. Sorry, it's just that working in retail and seeing people complain because we don't have something in fullscreen makes veins pop out of my head. Here's a tip for you fullscreen die hards out there. In order to format the movie to your square TV, they have to crop 50 % of the image. That's right, you are actually missing image in fullscreen, not the other way around. Duh. Here's why you should have known that. When you go to the theater, is the screen in front of you square, or is it wide? Piece it together.

Got a call today at 7pm from my parents saying they were in Jackson, Tennessee. That's 605 miles, which according to yahoo maps will take 9 hours and 18 minutes. I'm calling that 12 hours in an attempt to be reasonable. They should be here at 6pm tomorrow, depending on when they leave.

I feel oddly like I've just moved in to this place, now that the computer room is empty. The house has a different smell. It also helps that this was the first day of the year when it was permissible to open the windows. I know I'm from New York and 40 degrees isn't shit, but damnit, 40 degrees is cold for inside the house watching Waiting, the highlight of which was making fun of Forrest Gump. "Momma said they'd take me anywhere. 'Course, Momma used to beat me with a rubber hose and call me a retard."

Maybe I just feel better about the house because I've cleaned the shit out of the two rooms that I spend the most time in. I did it at a medium pace while intermittently playing Halo 2. I don't recommend this if you're in a hurry, but it makes any job that much more fun when you can stop and kill Brutes.

I watched The Aviator the other day. I liked it a lot. I really think Scorsese needs to get like Speilberg and start cranking out movies. As good as these movies are that he makes, there should be more of them. I hope he can work with Michael Mann again soon. I know I sound like a real fanboy here, but there aren't many movies by either man that I dislike. Even if I don't like the story there is something technically excellent about every movie they make. Michael Mann is the master of character development, and Martin Scorsese knows how to take characters that are really despicable and show you their point of view. He makes them much more likable, or at least he makes them understandable.

That having been said, this movie will forever be remembered for "Show me all the blueprints. I'm serious now, show me all the blueprints." There is also "The way of the future," and that pullback shot that reveals the bottles of urine. It must have stunk in there. It's really worth it though to put up with the "this man is one crazy son of a bitch" sequence because the interview with the Senator is awesome. To cap it off with the way Alec Baldwin says fuck is just brilliant. I also love the idea of a business negotiation with a man in a business suit and calm demeanor on one side of a door and a naked man flipping out and pacing on the other side of the door. In the commentary someone said that that was how they pictured big business behind the curtain.

For those of you over the age of 25 and still living with your parents, I have something for you. See, I'm 27, and I've lived outside of my parent's walls since 21, unless you count the army. Living on your own isn't that bad, as long as you have a decent job and a friend here or there to spend time with. Now, for some strange reason which doesn't need to be detailed here, I moved away from Ithaca to this lovely retirement community in North Central Texas. (This means it's full of old people who hate young people and are generally against any sort of business that relates to fun. As a result, we are stuck with Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Dairy Queen, and Wal-Mart. Guess where I work? I think there's a Radio Shack somewhere, and a shitload of car repair shops, along with a dozen or so closed up store fronts. Translation: Wal-Mart is the only thing to do). I moved in with my sister, which has led to the retarded assumption by most acquaintances that we are married. It has forced us to alter the introduction to the mighty presence of the two of us at once.

Now things are about to be flipped on their ass. This house will become like a house of a family that owns the King Buffet in Ithaca. My parents are moving down here on Tuesday. This is not a visit. They will be staying here for who knows how long, and it has led me to an awkward position. I'm not moving back in with Mom, she's moving back in with me. Does this mean Dad is still in charge? Or are we all equals in this endeavor to combine powers against our collective debts? Or will this small 2 bedroom one bath house explode due to our proximity? One thing's for certain, I can never watch Kill Bill again. Wedding Crashers must be hidden. I probably won't be able to watch any non-Christian entertainment in my house until this is over. Well, I mean I won't be able to watch it on the HDTV and surround sound in the living room at least. I can always watch shit in my room, but that's like trading your Jag for a fucking Pinto.

So, if you still live with your parents take heart. At least they're not living with you.

On a side note, this doesn't mean that I don't want them to move in. They are in a tight spot and I'm happy to be in the position to help them out. God knows they have certainly rearranged their lives for me. It certainly won't kill me. I just hope it will be better than the above paragraph describes it. I want to be able to watch a Harry Potter movie if the need comes up. They do not suck, and if you can get over yourself for a moment, you can even draw excellent moral conclusions from them.

I finished reading a book called Pour Your Heart Into It by Howard Schultz and Dori Jones Yang a couple of weeks ago. Howard Schultz is the CEO of Starbucks, in case you didn't know. The part that stuck with me the best was where he was looking for investment capital to start a coffee shop called Il Giornale he talked to 242 people, and 217 of them said no. Il Giornale was essentially the Starbucks we know today, but he had to start that company since Starbucks didn't want to sell drinks in the stores, they only wanted to sell beans. Eventually, the creators of Starbucks moved on to other things, and they sold the company to him.

Anyway, the point was, how do you continue to pursue something you believe in when so many people say no to helping you? I guess you have to develop a really thick skin. The only thing I can relate it to is applying for 15 or 16 jobs before one hires you. You get really good at job interviews in that situation. I could write a book on the subject called "Don't Say Fuck If You Want To Work There." I mean, the interviewer might have a 30% usage rate of the word fuck, but he or she won't tolerate that from you during an interview. The usage rate meaning that 30% of all words spoken or written are either extensions or derivatives of fuck. This is not the same as the Weather Channel forecasting a 30% chance of fuck. This is saying that 30% of your day will be fuck. There is a 100% chance that 30% of your day will fuck or be fucked.

I was going somewhere with this at the beginning of the last paragraph, but it seems I got sidetracked. I realize I had no intention of answering the last question of how do you keep from giving up. I guess it depends on how fired up you are about it, and if you have someone to turn to for encouragement. I know most people will say "You can never depend on anyone but yourself," or some such drivel but you honestly can't get through life with any accomplishments under your belt without some help.

On another note, if you aren't reading Achewood, now is an excellent time to start. The current story arc starts at the strip before this one. Ray will beat the asses of 3000 men.